I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
bring money and cleavage
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
