TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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