adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
