I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
