I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
