Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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