Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
