Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize