How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
