amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
