no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
