Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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