he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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