We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
