He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
