Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
