Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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