You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
