Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
