When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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