This girl is more easily done than said...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
