you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
