I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
