this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
