...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize