she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
