Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
