Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
