So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
