omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
