the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
