wrigley field is MILF paradise
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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