last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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