If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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