I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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