She is in my trunk
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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