I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
