Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
