Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
