So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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