i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
