Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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