dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
