That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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