In the future we'll all be gay
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize