i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
