I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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