She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
