i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
