went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize