I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
