I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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