why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
