So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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