I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
