if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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