I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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