I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
