but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
