one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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