why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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