I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize