Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
