whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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